Category: Stories

Stories

The Virus – Part Three

by Lauren1 Comment on The Virus – Part Three

A Story About the Continued Comedic Aspects of Living Through a Pandemic

Check Out the Audio Version Here

As time travelers peruse reviews of years past to determine their travel destination, 2020 will likely stand out as a year to stay far away from. Google reviewer “Covidisaloser19” has already locked in his review: “living through 2020 can be compared to joyfully biting into your favourite type of cookie, after a long, hard day. As your teeth sink into the middle of the deliciously sweet dough, you realize that it has a spicy mustard, ketchup, and relish filling. To make matters worse, the person that made you the cookie was the person you (used to) trust most in the world.” Though that review is a tough act to follow, I’ll attempt to keep future time travelers safely away from 2020 with a more thorough review of the year in, “The Virus – Part Three”.  

Continue reading “The Virus – Part Three” →
Stories

The Virus – Part Two

by LaurenLeave a Comment on The Virus – Part Two

A Story About the Continued Comedic Aspects of Living Through a Pandemic

Check Out the Audio Version Here

At the beginning of a pandemic, the restrictive measures put in place to keep citizens safe appear temporary. It feels as though there’s a light (possibly UV) at the end of the seemingly short tunnel. As the internet memes have made clear, the governmental asks are simply that citizens sit on their couches and watch Netflix (or the 100 episodes of House Hunters International one has recorded on their TV), and this is a pretty simple request when compared to the heavy lifting done by past generations (e.g., fighting in wars, surviving prior to the industrial revolution).  The most complicated thing about the request to stay at home, is really whether a person chooses to use a regular or a heated blanket to keep comfortable while they lounge. As the number of days in quarantine draw on though, it’s natural to realize that there might be more to the sitting on the couch thing than one originally anticipated. Let’s explore this further in, “The Virus – Part Two”.

Continue reading “The Virus – Part Two” →
Stories

The Virus

by Lauren1 Comment on The Virus

A Story About the Comedic Aspects of Living Through a Pandemic

Check Out the Audio Version Here

The human experience in a first world country has many mundane (and occasionally annoying) aspects to it. Some of these less than glamorous activities include navigating through crowded department stores; using public washrooms; purchasing products to keep your personal hygiene at a socially acceptable level; and working in an office filled with people (not of your choosing) that you’re forced to interact with in a professional way. That said, when a highly contagious virus overtakes the world and restricts the movement of the human race in a truly unprecedented way, everyday experiences like the ones noted above seem like bright lights that we can only hope to get back to one day. If you’re looking for a bit of normalcy in these crazy days, here it is: let’s talk about living through a pandemic in “The Virus”.

Continue reading “The Virus” →
Stories

The Unintended Recipient

by Lauren6 Comments on The Unintended Recipient

A Story Celebrating the Comedic Aspects of Modern-Day Communication Tools

Cold, sterile, and dangerous, are all words that you would use to describe your enemies but are also how today’s most commonly used communication methods, like text messages and email, are often characterized. Given this unflattering description, it isn’t surprising to hear people say “what a treat it is to receive a letter these days, a handwritten one at that”, and “how nice it would be to go back to the old days when you knew if you received a letter, someone, at least cared enough to find a pen or sacrifice some of their favorite lipstick…or blood, to get a message to you”.  Another important characteristic of this old-school communication method was that if it ended up in hands that it wasn’t meant to be in, due to an erroneous address on the envelope, or a mail delivery person not wearing their glasses, it was actually illegal for the unintended recipient to open it! Of course, if by some terrible twist of fate a letter was delivered to an incorrect mailbox whose owner had a more wicked spirit, there wasn’t too much that could be done, as he or she would likely take some sick pleasure in ignoring the order-keeper that was the law, but aside from that, generally, a letter was safe from prying eyes. Continue reading “The Unintended Recipient” →

Stories

The Maze

by LaurenLeave a Comment on The Maze

A Story Celebrating the Comedic Aspects of Not Being a Human Compass

Punctuality and directional literacy tend to go together like cheese and crackers. You might say that people who aren’t as proficient with directions as say, a cartographer is, should give themselves extra time when navigating to new locations. This is a fair comment; however, occasionally one is just too busy navigating the complexity of life to leave for a destination the necessary 16-hours early!

“The Maze” explores the phenomenon of being directionally inept, and the fun (?) that this can add to an individual like Paislee’s life.

Continue reading “The Maze” →
Stories

The Cellular Mystery

by Lauren4 Comments on The Cellular Mystery

A Story Celebrating the Comedic Aspects of Technology-Dependence

Our society is so advanced that we’ve developed a new body part. You may have heard of it, the cellular phone! Though small, it is mighty.  It connects us with friends and family and occasionally, a generous individual letting us know that we’ve won 1 trillion Airmiles.

Our mobile devices also house several essential components of our lives, like the 36 photos of that unusual-looking animal we saw walking across the road the other day and those animated creatures we collect by walking around our locales (i.e., Pokémon Go). Considering this tiny device’ amazing functionalities, it’s completely understandable that you may consider listing it as your emergency contact next time you’re asked for one.

With all of the above said, it’s also natural that when we think we may have misplaced this little gem a feeling of absolute terror overcomes us. Let’s talk more about this in, “The Cellular Mystery”.

Continue reading “The Cellular Mystery” →
Stories

The Unwanted Mouth Guest

by Lauren1 Comment on The Unwanted Mouth Guest

A Story Celebrating the Comedic Challenges Associated with Eating

If you’ve ever eaten food, you can likely agree that your teeth do a pretty great job of breaking it down into small enough pieces for digestive processing. What this tiny enamel army doesn’t excel at is self–cleaning (but maybe in 20 years maybe it will. That’s how evolution works, right?!). Of course, 99% of the time, food particles move through your mouth in an orderly fashion, with every piece accepting its fate of journeying into the waterpark commonly known as the digestive system. That said, occasionally a morsel will attempt to avoid its destiny, and desperately hide between two chompers, leading to some unwanted challenges for the human being those chompers belong to. With that, let’s proceed into “The Unwanted Mouth Guest”.

Continue reading “The Unwanted Mouth Guest” →
Stories

A Spring Commute – Part 2

by Lauren3 Comments on A Spring Commute – Part 2

A Story Celebrating the Humour in a Chaotic Commute

So, there I was, stuck in the door of the train. How fun. People were becoming increasingly agitated due to the delay in getting going and were looking to blame someone. In an effort to avoid being the target of any angry glares, or the subject of whispered exchanges, I desperately tried to hide the fact that I was the cause of the calamity.

“Obviously, the driver doesn’t know what he’s doing,” I heard one lady say to the fellow next to her.

He replied, “Or, he’s a beginner,” which sent them into snickers of laughter.

Evidently, my naturally chill aura and casual, nonchalant posture (you can never go wrong with an arm cross and a distant gaze, that says, “I’m thinking about things…that haven’t even been invented yet”), had thrown the annoyed passengers off my trail for the time being.

Continue reading “A Spring Commute – Part 2” →
Stories

A Spring Commute – Part 1

by Lauren13 Comments on A Spring Commute – Part 1

A Story Celebrating the Humour in a Chaotic Commute

We all know of locales where the winter climate makes one feel like they are living in a frozen wasteland ruled by a diabolical army.  With a command center in the clouds, this army effectively utilizes their wicked arsenal that includes not just annoying liquid precipitation, but frozen precipitation. They also employ the evil tactic of chillingly low temperatures, resulting in their victims being transformed into human popsicles. Last, but certainly not least, we can’t forget their silent but nefarious strategy of leaving walkways so treacherous that anyone lacking the nimbleness and overall athleticism of a Cirque de Soleil performer is advised to lock themselves indoors for the season. Understandably, when the spring season starts to reveal itself, it is par-tay time in these regions; I’m talking about serious let’s get pumped up time. In addition to the blissful feeling one has when the handcuffs made of gut-wrenching temperatures and crushing precipitation are removed, getting to wear less than 15 layers of clothing is wonderfully refreshing, and such that the first spring, or at least non-wool, outfit of the season is extremely special. This leads us to a story titled “The Spring Commute”. Please note that this is the PG title of the story. Once you hear it in its entirety, you will understand that it could have been named something more, “adult”.

Continue reading “A Spring Commute – Part 1” →